Lucy the Marysue Slayer
by shakespeareemo
Summary: Er, I know it's a bit cowardly, but full explanation inside. It's basically, a reformed Marysue seeks to protect the characters of Avatar from shipper, Marysues and fangirls straying into the fandom via a hole in the fandom continuum.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: Well, um, okay, here is my little intro, that probably no one will read, but feel obliged to write anyway.

Lucy the Mary-sue Slayer was created quite a few years ago, when I was liddle, and she saved Jack and Will (potc) from a terrible fate at the hands of Mary-sues. I never really finished the story, because it was taken down for being script, not prose. I got into Avatar:TLA a couple of weeks ago (weirdly, from watching the Abridged Series on YouTube, and then going to watch the actual episodes), and looked up all the fanart I could on DevArt, and read some fanfics, and learned of the various ships and stuff.

And so, here is the resuscitated Mary-sue Slayer, here to protect the poor, poor characters of Avatar from all the evil things we viewers want to do.

Oh, and any views expressed by Lucy probably aren't mine; I don't want to offend anyone, so pleeease don't take this too seriously. I am a shipper myself (I'll never tell you, NEVER. Maybe I'll slip little clues into this though…), and a condemned fangirl.

'kay, enough rambling from me. Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar; The Last Airbender. It's owned by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. I also don't own Avatar: The Abridged Series or Haru's _Sexyfine_ Shampoo, that's Gan Xingba's on YouTube. (Go watch! Go watch! Funneh!) (Is that an unsolicited advertisement? I hope not)

* * *

Prince Zuko, exiled heir to the Fire Nation, walked through the woods with all his belongings on his back, and his uncle by his side. It was three days since they had escaped his sister, Azula, and severed their ponytails, a symbol of their now permanent banishment. 

He was still sulking.

Iroh had tried to comfort him several times, but had failed to rouse his nephew from his silent and sullen state. Now, he too walked without speaking, hoping they would find something to eat soon.

'Watch out!' cried a voice behind them, and both royals turned, Zuko's hands going to his swords. A second later, a girl erupted out of the bushes and threw herself at him, sending them both tumbling down a slope, and ending up Zuko on top, hands braced either side of her head.

The was a moment when the world melted away, and Zuko blinked down at the girl; Her raven hair spread like a cloud, her sky blue eyes wide and bright, and her red lips, parted as she tried to regain her breath. Slowly, he lowered his head-

'OWWW!' He cried, and rolled off her. The girl jumped up. 'Sorry, had to wake you up. I have this effect on some people. Um…sorry.'

With a little difficulty, Zuko stood. 'Who are you? Why did you attack me?'

'Attack? Nope, no attacking. I was saving you.'

Zuko's unscarred eye narrowed. 'Saving me?'

'Yes.' The girl scrambled back up the slope, and hunted in the grass for something. 'Here!' She held up a dart, small and sleek.

'What's that?' asked Iroh, holding out his hand. 'A poison dart.'

'Something like, but much, much worse. This, my rotund and aged friend, is Haru's _Sexyfine_ shampoo. The shipper's long gone by now though, sadly.'

Zuko followed her up the slope. '….What?'

She nodded sagely. '_Sexyfine _shampoo.. Side effects include blood clots, increased risk of attack by cyborg koalas, and,' She shuddered dramatically, 'Zutara.'

Both men stared at her. 'Zuwuh?' asked Iroh.

'Zutara.' She hesitated. 'Um…I think it's better I don't tell you.'

'Why not?'

'Because Zuko might die of horror.'

Iroh said the word again. 'Hmm…I think….ah!' He looked horrified. 'I agree with you, Zuko, you are much better off not knowing.'

'Uncle! Tell me!' Zuko ordered, feeling left out and threatened.

'No Zuko. Maybe another time,' said Iroh.

'Anyway,' the girl cut across Zuko's next words, 'My name is Lucy. I'm the Mary-sue Slayer, and I'm here to protect you and Zuko. Mainly Zuko.'

Iroh looked saddened. 'I see…I feared this would happen.'

'What would happen?'

'See, there's a rip in the fandoms, caused by the combined anticipation of the third series of all the fans. I'm not sure why it's got this bad – Avatar isn't a particularly huge series – but I'm here to protect Zuko – and yourself, to a lesser extent – from all the fangirls, Mary-sues, shippers, and whatever else wants to come and screw up the canon.'

Iroh looked thoughtful. 'Aren't you destroying the canon by being here.'

'Yeah, I suppose. But I'm only here to protect Zuko and the others while the rip's open. When I find and plug it, I'll leave, and the plot will continue as normal.'

He nodded. 'Very well.'

'UNCLE!' roared Zuko, a plus sign throbbing on his head. 'What are you TALKING about?!'

Iroh sighed. 'I hoped I would never have to explain…but sadly it seems it is time to tell you…'

'Oh no, I'll do it,' grinned Lucy evilly. 'Zuzu, you're very, very popular with a lot of girls who watch this cartoon, and if I don't hang around, you're going to be swamped with multi-talented, super-strong girls who all want to – well, I'll let you use your imagination.'

'What?'

It took a while, but between them, Iroh and Lucy explained his terrible danger to Zuko. He was quiet for a long while, and during that time Lucy went fishing, and Iroh collected some large leaves to wrap them in. As they built the fire and a spit to cook the fish on, Zuko sat, staring into the flames, his face blank and pale.

Lucy waved her hand in front of his face. 'Damn. He's gone into shock.'

Iroh looked worried. 'How do we snap him out of it?'

Lucy sat beside him. 'Hey, Zuzu-'

'Don't call me Zuzu,' said Zuko, suddenly turning to glare at her.

'Oh look, he's better. Eat up Zuzu, we've got a long way to go tomorrow,' she handed him a fish, parcelled in vine leaves and impaled on a stick.

'Where do you intend to take us?'

'Wait, uncle, take us? Why are you going to let this…peasant, lead us? We have our own path to follow.'

'Yes Zuko, but for now, our paths go with Lucy's. She will protect us from those who wish to unset the balance of canon.'

'Huh,' Zuko turned away, and ate his fish with his back to the fire.

'I must apologise for my nephew; he does not understand the good you do for him.'

Lucy shrugged. 'I don't mind.'

'So, Lucy, what is your story? Where do you come from, and how is it you came to be a Slayer of Mary-sues?'

Lucy looked into the fire. 'I am one. But then I was saved by an Author, who gave me the task of protecting pretty boys like Zuzu here from drooling fangirls. That's why Zuko's first instinct was to kiss me – until I reassert my self-control, I naturally twist the whole story so it's about me. And don't try to deny it Zuzu,' she poked him as he made a sound of protest. 'Better men than you have tried to resist the OOC-inducing aura of a Mary-sue.'

Iroh nodded wisely. 'I see.'

'So, tell me, when is this in the plot? Zuko's still kinda bald, but neither of you have ponytails, so you can't be too far into the second season.'

'We're just after the first episode; Azula tried to kidnap us three days ago.'

Lucy stroked her chin. 'Hmm…so the Gaang must be on the way to Omashu. Great, we'll head there.' She stood, and brushed herself off. 'Right, well I'm going to sleep. I suggest you two do too; we need to move as fast a possible to meet up with Aang and the others.'

'What? We're going to 'meet up' with the Avatar? Uncle, are you sure-'

'Zuko,' said his uncle soothingly. 'In times like this, we must brush aside enmity and grudges. Lucy needs all the help she can get, if we are to heal the tear between the worlds.'

Zuko stalked off with his bedroll, and Iroh turned to Lucy again. 'He will be a great prince someday.'

'Yeah, whatever. At the moment, he's a big liarbility. Oh my god!' Lucy clapped a hand to her mouth. 'I forgot Jet…damn, we need to pick him up sometime, he's in deep trouble too…urg, so much to do…' She lay her bedroll down. 'Oh, and while I'm here, I need a bit of teaching on bending. I'm a Mary-sue, so I automatically pick up whatever skills I need when I'm in this world, but it'd help to have a fire-bending master give me some tricks.'

Iroh smiled. 'Of course.'

* * *

A/n: Um, so? What do you all think? I will post more when I see what reception this gets (Ie, Please send me nice reviews. Pretty Please?) 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, ONE person likes my story. So, therefore, in the hopes of pleasing my reviewer, and gaining more, here is the second chapter. I'm kinda making it up as I go along, although I have a vague, not entirely original plot idea to make this slightly more interesting in a while.

But for now, more teasing Zuko.

* * *

Chapter: Amila the Supreme Avatar 

Zuko groaned as Lucy shot fire from her fists for the 14th time in a row.

'This is sooooo much fun – I don't know why you guys bothered in invade the world and destroy everyone's lives; you could have just stayed at home playing with fire.' She did an embarrassingly complicated cartwheel, fire fanning out from her feet and hands, making blazing sigils in the air. Eventually she landed on her feet next to Zuko, and patted him on the head. 'Don't worry Zuzu, I promise I'll stop showing off now.'

He made a disgusted sound, and turned his head away. Lucy shrugged, and walked back to Iroh, now packing up their few things. 'Zuko's a total emo, you know that? He's kinda depressing me.'

'Zuko will soon grow used to you,' replied Iroh.

'Well, maybe. Ready to go?' she asked, taking her pack.

'I believe so. Do you know which direction we'll be going in?' asked Iroh.

Lucy started. 'Direction? Oh, you think we're going to walk? Nope, I have this,' she held up a small talisman on a leather thong. 'It's called a Wind-Walking Talisman. It's a relic of the Airbenders, given to me by the ones that sent me here.'

'And who exactly sent you here?' asked Zuko, walking up.

Lucy tapped the side of her nose. 'Need to know only info Zuzu.' Zuko glowered. 'Now, both of you, hold onto the string. This could be a bumpy ride.'

'What do you mean?' asked Zuko suspiciously.

'I mean,' sighed Lucy, 'That you have to be a proficient Airbender to use this well, and I'm just a rookie. But it shouldn't be too bad.'

Zuko looked horrified. 'So, not only do you expect me to entrust myself to an Airbender gadget, but you don't know how it works properly either?'

Lucy looked sheepish, then grinned. 'There are two ways we can do this Zuzu; either you take hold of the talisman and shut up, or I turn on the OCC-inducing aura, and we try the kissing scene again.'

Zuko flushed, and slowly gripped the leather string. 'Good,' she nodded. 'Iroh?'

The old man nodded as well, and his hand also grasped the cord. Lucy held the small, flat stone, engraved with a spiral, and raised her other hand. She made a sign in the air, and all three of them felt wind whooshing past them, whipping Iroh and Lucy's long hair around her face, and ruffling what little hair Zuko had.

They were blasted apart as they landed on sand, and the two firebenders were thrown in sand dunes. Zuko sat up, coughing. 'That is IT! I don't care who you are, or whatever you're supposed to be protecting me from, but-' he saw Lucy lying by a large rock. 'ZOMG! Lucy!' he ran to her, lifting her by the arms, and stroking the hair from her face. 'Uncle, she's hit her head.' He hugged her, tears running down his face.

Iroh put a hand on his shoulder. 'Uh…Zuko…'

'No Uncle! You must go, and fetch help. I will stay here, with her,' he wept. 'I can only hope that-'

Iroh slapped him. 'Wake up boy! She's been knocked unconscious, and not in control of herself.'

Zuko shook his head. 'No, Uncle, I must-'

'Erk,' said Lucy, raising her head slightly. 'I think I hit my head…hey, Zuzu, what d'you doing?'

Zuko paused in the act of curling his fingers through a strand of her hair, a look of horror on his face.

Lucy laughed, and stood up, brushing sand off her skirt. 'Sorry, again.' She looked around, ''kay, Iroh, did we get there?'

'To be honest,' he admitted. 'I have no idea.'

'Hmm. Well, we're in a desert. And Omashu is near a desert. I think this is a very good sign.'

'What? Just because we're in a desert doesn't mean-'

'THIS,' she said loudly. 'IS A VERY GOOD SIGN.'

'What?'

Lucy sighed. 'I don't even know anymore. Anyway, let's find Aang and the others.'

Iroh looked around. 'What makes you think we're anywhere here where they are?'

'Because! I just do! I'm a Mary-sue, and Mary-sues ALWAYS end up somewhere where they can conveniently meet up with the heroes.' She started climbing up a san dune. 'Come on people! We have Mary-sues to defeat.'

Iroh shrugged at his nephew, and followed the girl. Zuko sighed, and also began to climb.

* * *

'Look, we're sorry, but we don't believe you're an Bender unless you actually DO some Bending,' explained Sokka to Amila.

The pink haired girl sighed romantically, ignoring him. 'So you see, we must go to the Fire Nation immediately, and steal back the amulet that contains my fabulous powers, so I can help the Avatar to save the world!'

The Gaang blinked. 'Look, uh, Amila?' said Aang. 'We're not going to the Fire Nation right now. We're going to Omashu – I need to learn Earthbending!'

'But don't you see!?' cried Amila. 'Only with my aid can you defeat the Fire Lord!'

'Okay,' said Katara, fed up, 'I don't know who you are, or what your deal is, but we DON'T BELIEVE YOU. GO AWAY.'

Amila turned her brilliant purple eyes on the Waterbender. 'But…Katara….please….'

Whatever sickly pleading she was going to try next was cut short by a katana blade sweeping through her neck. Her head fell off, falling in the sand, and her body followed, showing Lucy, grinning, and standing in a dramatic stance with her katana raised high, dripping blood on the sand. 'Hey guys?'

'Who are you?!' asked Sokka.

Lucy sheathed her sword, and flicked her hair back. 'Name's Lucy. I'm here to protect you from girls like her,' she indicated Amila, 'And other stuff.' She stuck out a hand to Aang. 'Yo.'

Aang blinked up her. 'What?'

Lucy sighed. 'Gawd, this is going to take ages…okay, there's a rip in the fandoms, and because of this fangirls, fanboys, shippers, Mary-sues and all manner of ghastly threat to the canon have entered.' She quinted at the horizon. 'Oh look, there they are.' She pointed at a cloud of dust moving towards them. 'Prepare for battle, guys; the fans are coming.'


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yaaay reviewers!

Zuko the Distressed Lust Object

Aang peered at the cloud. 'I still don't get it.'

Lucy took a deep breath. 'Okay, Aang, Katara, Sokka, please listen carefully. A hole between this fandom and the world has occurred. This means that Mary-sues are getting in, and destroying the Canon, but so have the fangirls, fanboys and shippers. That's the approaching cloud in the distance. Mary-sues are just plain evil, but these guys are merely a little too obsessed. If we don't defend ourselves, fight them off, or run away very quickly then you guys are in BIG trouble.'

Zuko and Iroh finally came into view. 'Why'd you run off like that?!' snapped Zuko.

Lucy pointed to the Mary-sue's body, rapidly evaporating into rainbow dust and sparkles. 'Sensed her coming onto Aang. I needed to kill her before the anti OCC aura turned Katara and Sokka into speechless vegetables.'

Zuko's expression suggested that he didn't think there'd much of a difference.

Katara saw this, and glared at him. 'What is HE doing here?'

'He's in danger too. Iroh and Zuko have to come with us, so I can protect all of you at the same time.'

'What? No way!' cried Sokka. 'I'm prepared to accept that maybe something weird's going on, but it's not so bad that we're happy to have Angry Jerk along with us.'

'Sokka, let me put it this way. Either you let me and Zuko and Iroh come along with you, or we go away, and leave you to the mercy of _that_.' Lucy pointed to the cloud again.

'What is that again?' asked Katara.

'I already told you! It's a bunch of your fans! Coming to get you!'

Sokka struck a pose. 'Well, duh. We're just too damn smexi.'

'Yes! You are!'

'Look,' said Aang. 'We appreciate you're trying to warn us, but to be honest, I'm not quite sure what the danger is.'

Lucy sighed, and shrugged. 'Oh well. I'll be going then, since none of you have the brains to understand. I'm sure you'll all be fine. But,' she stuck out a hand to Katara. 'Goodbye Katara. You seemed to be a competent and kind-hearted heroine. It's a shame…' the Slayer sighed again. 'But, there's nothing I can really do.'

'Hey…what're you talking about?' asked Aang.

'Why, Katara's probably going to die when the fans get here.'

'They're gonna kill Katara/me?!' cried the Gaang.

'Well, yes,' replied Lucy. 'They won't MEAN to, but in the struggle, Katara will no doubt be torn apart.'

'What the HELL are you on about?' asked Katara.

'The struggle between the shippers! You see, some of the crowd will try and drag towards Aang here,' she gestured to the Avatar, who blushed, 'Because they think you should be with him, and some of them will drag you towards Zuzu, because-

'WHAT?!'

Lucy smirked a little. 'Listening now? The battle between the Zutaraians and the Kataangers will probably lead to you being crushed by the obbessive shippers.'

'You mean….Zutara means….' Zuko put it together in his head, and turned pale.

Katara and Aang looked pretty ill too.

'So, you're saying some of those guys think Katara and Zuko…' Sokka burst out laughing. 'As if! Hey, Aang, whaddya think-'

He blinked as he saw the three element benders standing side by side; Zuko in a ready stance, Katara's water whips hovering above her head, prepared for battle, and Aang on his air scooter.

A/N: Okay, so it's overdue, too short, and not very well written. Plus, the title doesn't make as much sense as it should. But I had to leap over my writer's block and get this out, or it would sink to the bottom of my pile of incompleted stories and fics on my computer.

I might even try and re-write this, rather than a new chapter.


End file.
